Just sittin here mutilating my cock with a butterknife

"Nibbles" (nibbles) 07/01/2014 at 19:15 • Filed to: More Ostentatious Power And ROAR

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Wondering why peopel feel they can expect a 4000+ lb car with over 700 hp to corner like a Porsche

But seriously this cheap plastic butterknife is tearing my chicken breast to shreds. I need to remember to bring a real knife tomorrow

Brian Silvestro > Nibbles 07/01/2014 at 19:17

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I like this post a lot.

Velocity- Peuguette Connoisseur > Nibbles 07/01/2014 at 19:17

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It's not going to. Even with MASSIVE TIRES and good suspension and stuff, it physically can't. But is that really the point? Eh? No, it is not. The point it AMERICA

jkm7680 > Nibbles 07/01/2014 at 19:17

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Right? A chainsaw is too big, and a butter knife doesn't exactly work great.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > Nibbles 07/01/2014 at 19:20

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Cocks don't really respond to butter knives, in my experience.

Nibbles > Velocity- Peuguette Connoisseur 07/01/2014 at 19:20

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I don't expect it to. I do expect it to look beautiful in my driveway, cruising down the street, slamming up and down Bandimere, and I expect it to piss off every Prius driver I have the pleasure of passing on the freeway

Nibbles > jkm7680 07/01/2014 at 19:21

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I need a scalpel, or other precision cutting instrument I think

lone_liberal > Nibbles 07/01/2014 at 19:21

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Just pick the damn thing up and eat it with your hands! America! Oh, and I agree with you. I don't know why people can't accept that not everybody wants a scalpel. Some people want a fucking sledge hammer.

jkm7680 > Nibbles 07/01/2014 at 19:23

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I actually would suggest a water jet cutter, but that's just my personal preference.

Nibbles > jkm7680 07/01/2014 at 19:25

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I don't want to water down my lunch, guy

Nibbles > lone_liberal 07/01/2014 at 19:26

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This, right here

Also if I did that my keyboard would get all cocky

Nibbles > Brian Silvestro 07/01/2014 at 19:37

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This post likes you too

You wanna meet it for a beer or two; see where it goes from there? It totally asked, I'm just relaying the message

Brian Silvestro > Nibbles 07/01/2014 at 19:39

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Tell this post it has a great ass.

jkm7680 > Nibbles 07/01/2014 at 19:43

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Well Damn, put some dressing in instead of water. You'll be set.

Sir Halffast > Brian Silvestro 07/01/2014 at 19:44

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And the gender reassignment has already been completed, I see.

Nibbles > Brian Silvestro 07/01/2014 at 19:45

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This post thinks you come on strong, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Told me to give you this:

Nibbles > jkm7680 07/01/2014 at 19:51

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I'm now imagining a 40,000 PSI RanchBlaster. Powered by twin 750hp Detroits

Brian Silvestro > Nibbles 07/01/2014 at 19:52

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Tell it to speak English, goddammit.

Nibbles > Brian Silvestro 07/01/2014 at 19:57

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I don't speak German, but this post said one word and ran off crying:

Gefickt

Anon > Nibbles 07/01/2014 at 20:01

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This is why I like you nibbles.

Brian Silvestro > Nibbles 07/01/2014 at 20:01

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I'm just left standing here, very confused.

jkm7680 > Nibbles 07/01/2014 at 20:03

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Sounds delicious! I think we're onto something with this.

f86sabre > Velocity- Peuguette Connoisseur 07/01/2014 at 21:12

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But, but engine swap?

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > jkm7680 07/02/2014 at 01:23

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what about a circular saw?